I cooked all day. ALL. DAY. First thing in the morning I made some muffin tin eggs.

Then after a moderate break, I went ahead and cooked 4 other meals, each with 5 servings to last the whole week. 5 meals a day for 5 days.

It was fun and rewarding, and I was proud of what I had accomplished by the and but gee whiz was I tired. I finished cooking and cleaning around 7pm maybe. Just in time to wind down a bit, eat one of the dinners I made since I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, then start heading for an early bedtime.

However, when I was getting in bed Lepsch called and I gave him an update on some of the things that happened over the weekend with Carly’s call on Friday and visiting in Columbus. He shared his thoughts on how she had been doing from his handful of conversations with her.

Then Carly called on the other line. Since it was unexpected I wasn’t sure if it meant something bad had happened. She was upset. It turned out her ex after me had done something which let her know that he was seeing someone else. She said she felt insignificant and that she meant nothing to him. I told her how many people she did mean something to including me, and how many people who thought her blog was worth listening to and sharing. After that she was feeling stupid for moving out to Cali for him at all, which is understandable. When she said he shouldn’t have asked her to go out there to be with him I had to agree whole heartedly that he should have know she wasn’t in a place to be making big and drastic decisions like that for some one else. I also tried to tell her not to be so hard on herself for making a mistake during a challenging time like that.

She described some things about him which made me ask if he was even much of a decent guy at all, and it seems like he wasn’t really. I told her it didn’t seem like he deserved to be cried over and she asked me how I was able to talk to her, especially when she needed my support to get over him, without taking it as a reflection on myself. I think the two thing I said was that 1) I know at the end I wasn’t being myself and didn’t deserve her and that she’ll always be important to me, and 2) that getting to help her any way I can helps me to feel like I’m no longer being the person I was with her at the end who didn’t or couldn’t make her enough of a priority.

Then I called Lepsch back again and told him what happened. He didn’t seem surprised at all and said he had picked up on some stuff from their conversations.

I’m not sure exactly what it was about the interaction it was, if it was that I got to be there for her, if it’s because it had very little to do with me, if it was getting to hear that New Guy isn’t that great of a person after all, or if it was some kind of relief to know she’s also struggling like me even if it’s not directly about me. Whatever it was, something helped me go to bed easier without dwelling on or worrying about our conversation like I had with past ones which was a pretty huge relief.

 

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