Anonyst Man

Bold Honesty



Journal: 01/26/17

Going to sleep early last night, even though it took me a while to fall asleep, paid off. I was actually able to get up pretty close to my alarm and used my time tracker to clock how long it was taking me to get out of bed which I think helped that too.

My old man hips took about 4o min to roll out on a lacrosse ball to feel thoroughly worked on.

Getting back to meditation for the second day in a row felt good too. I remembered the reason I stopped was from discomfort in my back from sitting on the floor the whole time. I think I could tell today how much rolling out on the lacrosse ball and a few weeks of core work has made sitting unsupported more comfortable.

I squeezed in brunch and headed off to therapy. I caught my therapist up on the past week’s events and how I was feeling. I was strange but refreshing to have a girl besides Carly to talk about now. We talked a little bit about how it was also weird to me that I was now in contact with a music producer, making plans to record, and that I might actually complete an album that I hadn’t really intended to make at first. We also discussed my upcoming visit to Evanston, and the prospect of having a story time with anyone in the university who was interested in hearing what I’ve been through. I told her that I think my intentions aren’t for attention or sympathy but I have this nagging doubt and negativity that keeps trying to dissuade me. I think if I did it in the right way that I would benefit from the opportunity to put it all behind me, and that there are likely at least some others who would benefit from what I’ve learned the hard way. I’ll probably talk to a couple people about my idea when I’m up there.

After an exhausting workout I texted with Rori and found out that she’s available this weekend. Since she was feeling stressed out and was still at work I looked up and booked an escape the room reservation for us tomorrow. They’re going to blindfold and handcuff us. I’m pretty excited.

Coming home to shower and eat, I worked on the blog post that I still haven’t completed about the first long phone conversation I recently had with Carly where we really got to catch up and hear about each other’s lives and what we’ve been learning.

I had to take a break after an hour because it was harder work than I thought and I was exhausted so I relaxed by playing and singing a couple of my songs for a while.

Once I was done with that I got thinking about changes that I’ve been thinking of making to my categories and items in my time logger app. I spent a while creating new items and reorganizing them with the ones I already have to get a good amount closer to a setup that I think will allow me to easily track 90% of my time with a meaningful and useful designation.

Then, after eating and wasting a little time, I got back to the journaling until Carson, one of my old volunteer kids who’s now 22, called me. He was driving from Dayton to Columbus and decided to give me a call with his free time. He asked what I was doing so I told him about my journaling and he asked a handful of questions that happened to have kind of heavy answers. The heavy subjects made him wonder if I was feeling down so I told him some of the more recent fun stuff going on which I think made him feel a little better.

Pretty much the rest of the night after that was drinking mimosas and wine and watching Scandal and Con Air. Not bad if you ask me.

Now I’m trying to decide whether or not to eat my 5th meal of the day as planned or if I’m tired enough to just go to sleep.


Journal: 01/25/17

Today got off to a pretty good start, moving relatively quickly through my morning routine, eating a couple baby omelettes, stretching my old man hips, meditating. Along the way I was thinking about shifting my attention off myself and relationship stuff for a while and back onto my practices of mindfulness, meditation, and improving my effectiveness with my time. I revisited the time logging app that I have gotten lazy with because I thought I found a better alternative that tries to estimate for me how I’m using my time, but that thing has been pretty useless so far.

I’m still tweaking how to use and when to log certain items. More often than I’d like to admit, if I’m just thinking about how I could be spending my time right now, that’s doesn’t really count as anything useful and I should start the timer for “wasting time” to get my booty in shape to get to take real actions or coordination of action.

I listened to some music that the producer Dan sent to me which I liked and reminded me of some of my influences, but as to be expected I did have a couple feelings about how I am going for something slightly different.

I also made progress on my continual tug-of war to stay up to date with journaling. Weekends always make it hard and I’ll get caught up right before the next weekend screws everything up again.

Once I’d had some coffee and enough time for it to take effect I went to the gym and listened to The Dollup podcast which might be my favorite and great length for the gym if only they published every day.

On my way home I grabbed a refill of my scripts thanks to using a handy-dandy reminder. After showering, changing, and eating, I managed to waste another hour and a half which I think was mostly spend texting back and forth with Rori trying to figure out what she was capable of eating and would like if I made on Valentine’s Day. It was so painful pulling an answer out of her since she simultaneously can’t eat my favorite things, and also couldn’t say anything that sounded nice or special to her. She might be even less of a foodie than me which is impressive and I’m not sure if that would annoy me or endear me more over time.

While I had dinner Lepsch called. We talked about music copywriting, how my conversation with Dan went, and I told him the story of Rori (heh). He asked if I liked her and I didn’t really know what to say. I said that I like things about her and listed some, but I’m not exactly sure if that’s already turned into really feeling like I know and like this person enough to be able to confidently say to. I think I might, but I’m not sure. It’s also a little difficult not to wonder what those feelings would mean to becoming some kind of actual relationship, regardless of how casual or serious it is. Any thoughts from my 13 followers?

I was going to do some of my own journaling again right after dinner, but ended up perusing some posts from someone who had liked a pretty solid number of my posts. It was my first real exploration of what other people do with their blogs. Very different from my method of posting a high volume of daily journals and having 13 followers, she had maybe about 20 posts total I think with about six-hundred-something followers, and seemed to have been published in Huffington post a few times. I’m not sure whether her intention was to accomplish those things or if people just liked her content that much that it happened organically, but that seemed pretty impressive to me. It was also my first time really reading anything that included personal stories from a stranger in another country that I was able to relate to some of and wonder whether I would be friends with this person if we met in real life. I’m still so baby-fresh to this whole blogging world. It’s intimidating and exciting. I’m content over here just doing my own little thing.

Now that I think I’m all caught up with the daily junk, and I’m pretty exhausted, I’m going to see if I go to bed an hour early if that will help me get up earlier and fully on schedule. Here’s to hoping. Goodnight my few special buddies.



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