Switching back over to individual day posts while getting caught up because this is getting out of hand.
Whipped myself up some fried egg with guac and fresh salsa for brekky after waking up at a reasonable hour and not spending a completely excessive amount of time in bed listening to music and coaxing myself up.
I spent basically all of the morning starting what will be the last song on my album in light of the true nature of the end of my relationship. There is a lot to it and a lot to remember but I think I got all, and if not I’m sure the rest will come to me. I am glad that I took some time away just because it would have been too exhausting to try to grind it out while it was still fresh. I don’t think any of my feelings have changed at all though, and I can’t see them changing any time soon.
It’s a lot. I’m not sure how I’m going to get everything that I have to say in its fullest yet densest, without creating a 10 minute song but if that’s what it takes to do it right I guess I shouldn’t worry about how long the average song is. This one isn’t the average song. Working on it made me realize that in order to continue my intention not to look back or give any more thought or attention to her at all anymore, I’ll never be able to play any of these songs again once they are completed and laid to rest. I think I’m still perfectly ok with that, and if anything, would rather just work on a forward-looking album instead. It might get awkward to have to turn any close friends or family down who may ask to hear me play live though.
While I would have preferred to make progress on my other existing songs, I couldn’t help but organize a little more and add to my notes for songs that would be in a second album. I’m trying not to think about that any further than taking down any thoughts or ideas as they come to me naturally. I still haven’t gotten a response from Dan about landing time, and also had the idea of having someone filming a little bit in the studio while we’re working. I’m thinking either Sean or maybe someone Dan knows.
My writing breaks consisted of finally sorting through (but not paying or calling about) my last batch of bills from the apartment in Chicago, eating, just playing some songs on my guitar, practicing a little rope work for tomorrow, reviewing email, and trying to register for Spring classes, and more eating. Although I wasn’t able to get registration completed for reasons beyond my control, I should be able to get it all done in R2 without any issue.
By the time I knew I couldn’t do any more about registration for the day, it was a little later than I felt comfortable with about going to the gym and getting my energy up since I wanted to go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier.
I texted my closest friends up at school and they were excited. I’m very excited, but nervous to the extent that is probably normal and that I should feel, but not much more or less.
We’re having a boy! His name is Lepsch Junior. They showed me his penis.
Throughout the day and evening, along with school friends, I also had conversation with Rori planning our date tomorrow, got to know Harper a little better, and messaged with Nathalie and Lisa. That is a lot of talking with different girls. I don’t think I feel weird about it thought for multiple reasons. First there wouldn’t be anything wrong with dating around even if I was. Second, I’m not even sure what my intentions are with half of them. Third, I’m only actually seeing one of them and we have established we are not in a relationship. It is kind of nice to feel ok and ready to start to get back out there as just another step towards putting things behind me and moving forward.
My brain is too tired to try to remember any more stuff. Night night.